Too High or Too Low There Ain't No In-Between...

This morning, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that bothered me. I called to invite him to a bbq that I'm having on memorial day, and he asked me if he could bring along a woman that he's recently started dating. Under normal circumstances I would have no problem with this at all, however before he started dating the new girl, he was hooking up with one of my best friends.

She still really likes him, she has no idea he is dating someone new.

Obviously, I'd prefer if he didn't bring along the new girl. I'd rather spare my other friend the drama and awkwardness, and just enjoy the afternoon. And let's be real, he's only been on about 3 dates with the new girl, so it's not the end of the world if he spends an afternoon without her.

Or so I thought...

He's not coming to the bbq if he can't bring her.

3 dates!!! I'm sorry, but that is insanity. Did I tell him that? Of course I did. And now he's mad at me. He's already decided to pick the potential girlfriend that he's just met over me, someone who has been once of his best friends for 7 years.

I understand why he wants to spend time with this new girl, I really do. I understand that relationships are built on the fact that two people love being around each other, and would prefer each other's company to anyone else's.

But what I can't understand is signing over your independence and your ability to do things on your own. I've watched my friend do this in every relationship he's been in...and when they are over, he has given his entire self -- including his interests, hobbies, and free time...and he is left with nothing. At times, he's even lost friends.

I can do things without my boyfriend. He doesn't always accompany me to social engagements, and I attend at time when he is not invited. And even though I always keep him in my mind, I still work hard to maintain some independence.

I think there's something comforting in knowing that if I found myself alone tomorrow...I'd still have a life, and I would still have myself. And although I've made some sacrifices, I never gave it all away.